Seriously, I have to ask. Why DO people cheat? With all the media obsession of Tiger Woods and Jessie James, is anyone REALLY surprised? Hollywood being a rare breed itself, but people cheat everyday. Rich people, famous people, average people and your next door neighbor. More than likely, YOU know someone who has cheated. You may have even been the cheater yourself.
According to a 2003 study, after reviewing 25 studies of infidelity, renowned psychologist and marital researcher Shirley Glass, author of several books on the subject of infidelity, estimates that “25% of wives and 44% of husbands have committed infidelity.” Those numbers do not reflect emotional affairs. That being said, is cheating limited to sexual intercourse?
I'm curious to hear what YOU think...BE HONEST, your comments are completely Anonymous and CONFIDENTIAL!
Amazing how society looks at cheating.
ReplyDeleteIf you are rich or famous enough it is called an addiction & you are not really responsible.
Another aspect that I think is crazy is how so many people blame the "other woman" (or man).
HELLO - if your husband/wife cheats on you THEY are the one responsible for breaking their vow. The person they are cheating with may not be your friend for doing it but it is your spouse that should be taking accountibility for being an ass.
Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteAmazing how society looks at cheating.
If you are rich or famous enough it is called an addiction & you are not really responsible.
WELL SAID!!
I think If someone else "sparks" your interest and they are not your Spouse, you should tell your spouse! Its healthy. ( good communication)
First if you are "sparked" by nothing more then a glance then use it as marital and move one! Most times its more then a glance, and that comes from "talking", "texting", "emailing" in ways more then friendly convo that "sparks" the need to explore more! Are those acts the "spark" more infidelity? If you are not sharing that with your spouse, yes it is! Would you let your spouse read the text or the emails? If not then its "hiding" and its wrong!
I'm going to play devil's advocate with this one, because my view may be different from most. While I definitely do not condone cheating (I think it is a sign of weakness of character) I think that one of the main reasons for cheating is that whoever cheats is not getting what they need from their relationship. In that respect, I think that a lack of communication is the reason for most cheating.
ReplyDeleteIf you are in a relationship for a long time, you get so wrapped up in your daily life. Work sucks, taking care of the kids is tough, daily pressures mount up and you just don't seem to have the drive to be intimate with your partner. Or you just don't feel like it, or it is too much effort. There are a million different reasons why, but the bottom line is that you do not make time for each other, or when you do, it's rushed, it's quick, or its done out of obligation. People become complacent, and think that is good enough. Just because it is sex, doesn't mean it is good sex.
Unfortunately, some people don't want to work at giving each other what they want. And if partners don't give each other what they want, eventually they will start looking outside for that connection, that excitement, that spark that they used to have with you. I think that if you work with who you are with, if you take the time to love each other, to explore with each other, strive to keep the sex exciting and new, then who you are with is not going to stray. But let the relationship get stale, knock your sex life down to "right before you go to bed on a Saturday night" every week whether you need it or not, don't show any energy in bed, that's when the straying starts.
Sex in the movies (R and X rated) isn't exciting if someone is in their ripped up old flannel PJs, half falling asleep, and says "I'll do it for you if you want me to" while they are yawning. It's exciting when it is passionate, when you are clearing stuff off the kitchen table and going at it, when the other person can't control themselves even when they are in public, or puts on that special outfit, and gives themselves completely to their partners. You have to keep the passion alive. Keep your partner happy, and they are not going to want to stray.
I also think that flirting or becoming interested in other people is a natural feeling, and that throughout your life, these feelings will pop up from time to time. That's natural, and it is OK. It's what you do with that situation that is the problem. Having the strength to not pursue the situation, to back off and not put yourself in a compromising situation, that is what you should do for your partner. If you truly love who you are with, and are satisfied with your sex life, then stopping a situation from becoming more will not be a problem.
The main thing is to talk to your partner when you are not happy. Let them know if there is an issue, and talk to them about how to resolve it. I know if the person I was with told me there was a problem, or that I needed to put more effort in to keep the passion alive, I would do whatever it took to keep them happy. To me, it all comes down to communication with your partner, and loving yourself and your relationship enough to let them know when something isn't working.